[On the S&P Downgrade]

 Split-Rated 

BY MERLE HAZARD, MARCY SHAFFER & CURTIS THREADNEEDLE 

TWO TRIPLE-A'S, ONE DOUBLE-A PLUS
OUR DEBT IS RATED THUS
THE GUYS WHO BET ON ABACUS
WON'T DOUBLE DOWN ON US 
 
AMERICA’S FINANCIAL WOW
ONCE GRAND AND SO SECURE
SEEMS FAIRLY LESS SUBSTANTIAL NOW
WE’RE STANDARD, AND WE’RE POOR 
 
THE PRESIDENT SAID, WAIT, S&P!
YOUR MODEL'S GOT A GLITCH
BEFORE YOU MAKE A MESS FOR ME,
ASK MOODY'S OR ASK FITCH 
 
BUT S&P REFUSED TO DANCE
SAID: NO! YOUR RISK'LL SHOW
THAT IN FINANCE, YOU'RE WORSE THAN FRANCE
YOU BLOW AT FISCAL FLOW 
 
SPLIT-RATED
(STATED, DATED, DEBATED)
THEY MADE IT FORMAL, HERE IN OVERTIME
SPLIT-RATED
(FATED, 2008-ED)
IN THIS NEW NORMAL, WE'RE THE NEW SUB-PRIME 
 
THE NERVE OF RATING AGENCIES,
NOW POINTING AT OUR TRAP
FOR I RECALL THEIR MAJESTIES
ANOINTING SO MUCH CRAP 
 
THEN FANNIE'S CHOKE AND LEHMAN'S CROAK
LEFT US WITH THIS DISTRESS
BUT THE USA AIN’T LIKE THOSE FOLK
WE OWN THE PRINTING PRESS! 
 
SPLIT-RATED
(STATED, DATED, DEBATED)
THEY MADE IT FORMAL, HERE IN OVERTIME
SPLIT-RATED
(FATED, 2008-ED)
IN THIS NEW NORMAL, WE'RE THE NEW SUB-PRIME 
 
SPLIT-RATED! 

CURTIS THREADNEEDLE - LEAD VOCAL
WOLF JACKSON - GUITAR
FRANCES CUNNINGHAM - MANDOLIN

MERLE HAZARD - ARRANGEMENT

ANN SHAYNE, ISTOCKPHOTO - ILLUSTRATION

SPECIAL THANKS TO GREG HILFMAN AND AMI KUAN DANOFF

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